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Your teenager is not a problem (part two)

teen 4

If you must help your teenage children, you need to know how to make them do the right things without losing them to external control. To achieve this, you must work on your relationship with them. Understanding this phase is a major key to building a healthy relationship with your teenager. You cannot afford not to understand this phase of your child’s life.

One thing that you must understand about this phase of a child’s life is that it the period their lives that they pick on someone as an idol, someone they want to look like and dress like. Sometimes these idols are people that you must not approve of. One way to help control these external influences is by building a healthy relationship with them. It will help you not to get angry when they manifest in ways that you do not like; it will also help you to know what to do to reach out to them.


teen5Another factor that could make it difficult for parents to relate with their teenage children is a wrong perception of the teenager’s personality. Over the years, parents have been made to believe that the teenager is a problem. This misconception affects the way parents see and relate with their teenage children. They erroneously see teenagers as problems not necessarily because of what they do, but because of the wrong impressions they have about them. This wrong impression or faulty perception is one of the biggest obstacles to parents’ ability to build a healthy relationship with their teenagers.

The basis fact of life is that how we perceive a thing ultimately affects our reactions to that thing. The story of the birth of Moses in Exodus 2, paints a very good picture of the power of perception. Moses was born at a time when it was a crime for any Hebrew woman to give birth to a male child. Pharaoh’s order was that every male child born to any Hebrew woman was to be slain. The other women gave up their children but not Moses’ mum.

When others allowed their children to be taken from them, she took steps to preserve her son’s life. Even though it was a risky step, she was prepared to take a chance because of her perception of her son. The Bible said she perceived that her son was a “goodly” child. That perception made her willing to risk her life by hiding him for three months while other mothers gave up their children to be killed. Exodus 2:2.

What we see or how we see things goes a long way to determine how much risk we are prepared to take to preserve that thing. It will also determine how long we will persevere to get the best out of that thing. Our perception could either motivate or demoralize us. It could either spur us to press forward in life or drain our energy; it could either give us the zeal required to achieve our dreams or be a hindrance to the pursuance of our dreams. What our teenage children end up becoming to some extent is tied to how we see them; our perception of them.

Our perception of them will determine if we can reach deep inside us for the divine wisdom needed to help them make it in life. You cannot help your teenage child beyond your perception of him or her. Your teenager may look ordinary but he or she is not ordinary and more importantly, that child of yours is not a problem but a gift from God and a divined assignment.




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